Time for a story about a heartbroken guy in Bangkok down to his last dollar.
When I was 21, I fell in love for the first time. I was living and working in Cambodia, on an oasis island called Koh ta Kiev. Here on this island there were a few very laid back hotels for people who wanted a once of a lifetime experience on a tropical island right out of your dreams. I worked at one of these, I liked my hotel the most because It was on the west facing side of the island so I go to the most magical golden pink sunsets over the water everyday, all from the view of the “front desk” outdoor main bar area. My job was to chill at the front desk, take orders for food, check people in and just handle really any questions any of the guests would have, often there could be between 10-30 people staying and from nearly every walk of life.
The island boasted an extravagant coastline, my favorite thing was to go and rock climb through all the towering and teetering boulders jutting from the water, this made for exciting days off as I’d hike down the beach bare foot and bare chested to my favorite climbing spots. It was a rush to climb these rocks, jumping large gaps from one to another, felt free, wild and alive. I had never felt so free as I did on that Island as a 21 year old, I had so much fun chatting with guests in this relaxing and paradisal atmosphere, I always had a spliff hanging out of my mouth, always an ear to ear smile… there were so many beautiful women from all over the world checking in and I worked with other amazing fun young people, there was even an outdoor gym that boasted a pull up bar and two 5 kg weights, I would do hundreds of pull ups a day and had never felt so strong and healthy, I don’t think I put on a pair of shoes for 2 months straight! I had my good share of fun on this island, and it also boasted a heavy party scene, a lot of dance parties, a lot of drugs and alcohol (I beat the record for the weekly competition for who could drink the most beers in 30 minutes, after this I was called “King Klang” Klang being the name of the beer and Khmer for “strong”) and all show cased on an island that people would only imagine existed… Needless to say, I loved my time there.
I could talk about so many amazing and interesting experiences I had on this island, relationships I had and connections I made were transformative, I’ll never forget Christian, The old Austrian nudist who would always be swimming naked out of his hut close to mine, we exchanged eons of spiritual understanding in a single glance and a laugh, or Jan the drug loving old Norwegian man who would invite me to do ecstasy with him in his beachside waterfront bungalow until my face was falling off, chatting until the first rays of sun would pierce through our bungalows and signal time for a coffee. Or the local Cambodian staff who would invite me back to their quarters after work for fresh caught fried fish and beer, as we’d sit for hours in the darkness with no common words to exchange but enough smiles to change the world, I’ll never forget how much they loved to see me work, they loved to let me do physical labor because I don’t think they’d ever met a white person who actually enjoyed hard manual labor that was usually always reserved for the local staff… especially the oldest woman, she was probably 70 and worked hard everyday cleaning and cooking, she’d love watch me pull water from the well. Watching me with the biggest shit eating grin on her face laughing to all hell as I heave heavy 5 gallon water buckets up from 100 feet down a well… and once I’d get the bucket up to her, she’d always wink and squeeze my bicep cackling away. You can check out a vlog I did during this time.
But then it all changed, one day I met a woman who turned my world upside down. I had never fallen for someone as innocently and wildly as I did for her. She was a friend of someone I was working with, she was a German Woman 10 years older than me at the time and from the moment we met there was a spark and I knew I’d do everything in my power to be with this woman. Long story short, we fell into a deep and passionate love, this time was like a dream for me, I couldn’t believe what was happening but I couldn’t waste time trying to think about it, I gave to reckless abandon spending all the little money I had taking trips off the island with her… dreaming together of what could be. Then the time came when she needed to fly to Australia, where she had been recently living, she had a converted van for living in there and we planned I would meet her within a couple days after she left but then… the worldwide freakout happened of 2020… and overnight the Australian border was sealed shut. This devastated me as I was suddenly violently shaken awake from the love soaked dream I’d been in… We tried long distance but after a few months the passion and flame inevitably flickered to a smoking ember under the ash off full life’s lived with big hearts.
So once reality set in I wasn’t going to Australia to sail into the sunset with my dreamy Euro mommy, I realized the reality of my situation…
I was in Bangkok Thailand with maybe 200$ to my name, no plan, heartbroken and with a global pandemic looming overhead.
At this point I’d been away from home for maybe 4 months, and a lot of my family was urging me to come home of course terrified of what was going to happen with the virus… but I was on a mission, a personal spiritual journey, initiating myself in to the world of man if you will… there was no way in hell I was going to tuck my tail between my legs and go home to the United states, I’d have to ask for money for a flight and I just couldn’t accept that I’d go home believing “I couldn’t do it”.. “do it” being travel the world myself and figure out any and every situation I’d find myself in. I was determined to be resilient, to be bold, to be clever, competent and capable by any means necessary. Many people have asked if at this point I was afraid, I can tell you I was heart broken over my German lover, but never felt even a tinge of fear over my situation, I felt like I was being given my first real test and after 2-3 months living in paradise, my confidence was through the roof, I knew I’d figure everything out.
I got right to it and quickly found a language exchange center right smack at the end of Khao san road (notorious tourist party road) I found this place by pure synchronicity, as I walked along one day, running through my head of WTF I should do, I saw a huge board that said “LANGUAGE EXCHANGE” and rows of desk going into a long hall way, open to the street. Most of the desks were paired with two people from anywhere and everywhere in the world, but closest to me, right at the street, sat a gorgeous young Thai woman alone at a desk. Could you resist? With nothing better to do? Come on, so I went up and sat down with her. She hardly spoke English and my Thai wasn’t great at this point, but we had a fun little chat and we mostly just flirted with our eyes, but after a while one of the volunteers who ran the center came up, another gorgeous Thai girl, she introduced herself and I started asking her what this language exchange place was all about.
She revealed to me that it was nonprofit to help locals learn English and many students and people who needed English for work of all ages would come to practice their conversational English. She quickly revealed to me that all of the foreigners who worked here were volunteers who lived upstairs in exchange for speaking with locals for 2 hours a day. Within an hour, I’d moved in upstairs. I knew I wouldn’t make money doing this, so I’d still need to figure that out, but I knew if I could get my accommodation for free, I could easily live off 3$ a day with my favorite Thai dish “Khao pad moo”, rice with pork and fried egg, costing me about 30 baht from street vendors, equal to 1 US dollar. Now, with my remaining $200, I felt I had plenty of “runway” to figure out my next move.
And sure enough the “next move” that seemed to me to be the most fun, realistic and adventurous was either becoming a model or a teacher! I had never modeled before but had heard of white travelers finding high paying photo shoots pretty easily in Asia and thought I had the look and the confidence to have a pretty good shot… this seemed like the easiest and most hilarious way to get out of my financial hole. And my thoughts around becoming a teacher were similar, I had experience teaching internationally already and had heard it was really easy for white travelers to pick up teaching jobs, I thought this would be a great way to get me through covid and have something entertaining and meaningful to spend my time doing, I’ve always loved being around kids and teaching.
I had both within a day!
I quickly found out through some research that the easiest way to find both of these things is through the Bangkok extension on non other than… Craigslist! I couldn’t make this up if I tried! (Craigslist is an American website where people can sell and ask for absolutely anything) The next day I had a modeling job lined up for a “Greek god” themed shoot, this job offered 10,000 baht an hour ($330) an insane amount of money in Thailand! And if you’re paying attention, I was going to make more in an hour than I had in my bank account! And not only is this a lot of money in Thailand, this would be the most amount of money I’d ever made in a hour in my life! But there was a catch…. It was a naked photoshoot, nothing erotic but the “Greek god” theme was determined to appreciate the whole of the male body, think marble sculptures.
What was I thinking at this point you may ask, was I nervous? Did I feel like I was doing something “wrong”? Was I curious if I could find the confidence and bravado to present myself strong and confident in a new and somewhat peculiar situation? Was I encouraged by the money? The answer would be yes to all of the above. But most of all I was compelled by the motif of “continuing my story” becoming through actively engaging in what is put in front of me. Back then, it often didn’t feel like experiences were put in front of me for me to grow by saying no to them, but 5 years later I can say more and more do I see the validity and power of learning this lesson as well.
Within the week I had locked down a consistent modeling contract with a small independent agency who was paying me very very well even in western standards and I had sent applications to a handful of very well paid teaching positions in locations all around the country that interested me. At this point in my life, I was so in the flow that absolutely nothing could deter me from the momentum of synchronicity, I was a raging conduit pulsating with vitality and intensity. Funny how broken hearts can often propel us into these phases.
I maintained this lifestyle for nearly a year, I taught highschool English in a gorgeous school in the most beautiful, rural area of Thailand I’d ever been, Pua, in the Nan province. And nearly once a month I’d fly to Bangkok for a weekend of modeling that would often pay in the neighborhood of $1000… being as how my rent was $100, this was an exorbitant amount of money, especially when coupled with my teaching salary that amounted to $1300 a month. I was able to save 5,000$ that year, without trying, as I was living a fast lifestyle with parties and women galore, with this 5,000$ I traveled for another year after leaving Thailand.
I’ll leave you with the story I wanted to tell from the very beginning and really the whole reason I began writing this story for you… My students were teenagers between the ages of 13 and 18, I was 21 years old. Eventually my students found my Instagram and through this, the modeling agencies instagram… Near the end of my teaching career in Nan, I had 18 year old female students showing me naked pictures of myself while I tried to teach them how to order at a restaurant! My classrooms quickly became “phone free” environments after this!
One of the most bizarre periods of my life and one I think back on and relish in how alive and vivid it all felt.
Life is so much fun if we open up to it, Im learning now as I pursue pure endeavors of the heart that these adventures can also be incredibly painful, but whether we are young and naked in Thailand, or young and desperately in love in Switzerland…
Every moment beckons for us and we are given the opportunity to make love to it, if we are brave enough…
Stay in light, Stay in love
Jay Bierschenk